Senior Year Soundtrack

change.

July - Tightly Wound, by The Capes

Happily practicing the summer away.

August - Nantes, by Beirut

Philadelphia anthem.

September - Russian Easter Festival Overture, by Nicolai Rimsky-Korsakov

The world was beautiful and full of possibilities.

October - Every Day, by Carly Comando

Cold weather, and missing parades.

November - Julie-O, by Mark Summer

Annual raw music phase.

December - Piazza, New York Catcher, by Belle & Sebastian

Dreaming of an escape from self-imposed obligations.

January - Lievermann Flute Sonata

A disgustingly atonal piece of stress college professors like to call "standard repertiore".

February - Red Right Ankle, by The Decemberists

Most busy/stressful month of my entire life. Not in a right state of mind.

March - Hands, by Ms. John Soda

Submission to imperfection.

April - Sanctuary, by the PMEA 2008 All-State Band

Revelation; life isn't about perfection.

May - Like a Child, by Jars of Clay

Roots.

June - Symphony No. 5, Movement V; Finale, by Tchaikovsky

FREEDOM.

And the soundtrack will never end.

Currently Listening Mahler: Symphony No. 5 see related

Wisdom

Tonight at work, a young dad walked by hand-in-hand with his son. The little boy looked on the verge of tears, and the father told his son, "Don't worry. It's what you do after you make the mistake that matters."

I can't think of a better outlook. I love dads.

The world seems so full of possibilities! I don't know where my life is going, but I am happy to be young and alive.

Currently Listening Seven Swans By Sufjan Stevens see related

March

I feel like I have been waiting my whole life for this.

I want to give and receive more hugs! I am sure it would make for a happier world.

<3

Currently Listening Delay By Julia Kent see related

Forgive me, Xanga

I have let you down. I let other entities crowd up my time. You were always such a faithful emotion vent, and I forsook you.

I have grown up with you, in a sense. My diction, syntax, and outlook on life have changed. (My list of interests, however, remains very similar.) Instead of getting nervous for LHSGB auditions, I worry about acceptance into college. Instead of falling asleep each school night at precisely 10 pm, I go for adrenaline-rushed escapades to the Bethlehem Diner. Instead of awaiting the coming of another Harry Potter book, I anticipate the end of high school when I may explore the world as a free human being. It's all in my own hands now. No one is going to reprimand me if I do, or do not.

Sometimes I think to myself, "Rachel, what have you done?" I am living in a constant state of hesitance, where I am so afraid of regret that I sometimes forget to live. But following my instinct, my primal flesh, leads to disaster. The duality of human nature prevails. I wish I could soak up wisdom, and I wish I knew things now that later I'll wish I knew. But God is hard to understand and the self-help books at Barnes and Noble always promise instant happiness by "a change of thinking." Can we really change what we think? Are we truly only who we create ourselves to be? Is it possible to choose what to believe? Or is truth always apparent, insistently blazing in the background?

Just some recent thoughts, Xanga. Thanks for being there for me, once again.

Dear Xanga,

Rachel is alive and well. She just got back from Hungary and enjoyed it very much. Actually, she wants to go back. She is trying her hardest to practice flute at least 2 hours a day but it is driving her slightly insane. Tonight she may be doing this thing termed "social interaction." Yes, apparently she will spend a significant amount of time in the present of a/many fellow human(s).

Call the westgate info booth for a good time!

Love,

Rachel's slave.

Currently Listening Morgenlandfahrt By [dunkelbunt] see related